A FRIEND ONCE told the story of having to help hold his small son down in the emergency room at the hospital while doctors gave the boy stitches after a childhood mishap. The little guy couldn’t understand why his father was being so seemingly unkind to him. He didn’t realize at the time that it was actually love.

I’ve thought about that many times through the years when faced with personal situations that have been painful, or when hearing of others’ difficult circumstances. Sometimes God doesn’t seem to care in the way that we think He should, but we need to be careful about interpreting these events.

Take Christ’s friendship with Lazarus and his sisters Mary and Martha. They seem to have been among His dearest friends. (As an aside, wouldn’t you love to know why and how that close relationship came about?)

In John 11 we learn that while He is a couple of days’ journey away from these friends’ place in Bethany, on a mission in Judea, Jesus gets word that Lazarus is sick. Poorly enough for his sisters to want Jesus to know about it. And what happens? “So, when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was” (v. 5). In other words, when Jesus finds out Lazarus is in need, He deliberately doesn’t respond.

That hardly sounds very caring. But we need to keep in mind the “so” (or “therefore,” as some translations have it) that starts the sentence. Because it follows this: “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus” (v. 4).

In other words, Jesus loved Lazarus, Mary and Martha so much that when He learned that Lazarus was sick, He didn’t do anything—and Lazarus died. Once again, on face value, this seems somewhat unfeeling. But let’s go back another verse in the passage: “When Jesus heard [about Lazarus being ill] he said, “This illness does not lead to death. It is for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it” (v. 3).

While Mary and Martha didn’t understand what was going in, Jesus had something greater in mind than just making Lazarus well again. He didn’t want to restore him, He wanted to resurrect him.

If you find yourself wondering what God is up to in your distress, consider that He may be acting in great love, even if that doesn’t appear to be the case. Like my friend, He doesn’t enjoy bringing discomfort, but He has a greater good in mind.