SOMETIMES, MY understanding of God is more theory than reality. More something I know in my head than I can really claim to embrace in my heart. A case in point: the Trinity. I can tell you that God is three distinct persons and yet unified at the same time, but I can’t really explain it to you or tell you all that it means.

Same thing when it comes to Jesus being fully human and fully divine, one of the pillars of Orthodox faith. I say that I believe both to be true in that mysterious, only-God kind of way. But in reality, when I look deeper, I find that I tend to lean toward the idea that, actually, Jesus was really God pretending to be a man.

Why does that matter? Because if He wasn’t really fully man, then we’re in trouble. We need Jesus to be fully God so we can see the Father in and through Him (John 14:9). And we need Jesus to be fully human so He could become the second Adam, restoring relationship with God to the way it was in the beginning. In being fully both, He is the bridge between earth and heaven.

I know that Jesus got hungry and thirsty and sleepy, but these needs can seem to be more like aspects of humanity that He put on like clothing, rather than something He actually embodied in the core of His being. More about physiology than the very fiber of His essence.

And then I read in Luke 12:50 how Jesus told His disciples, ^“I have a baptism to be baptized with, and how great is my distress until it is accomplished!”  

Now, we know that the night Jesus was arrested at Gethsemane, He wrestled with the Father’s plan: “If it is possible, may this cup be taken from me” (Matthew 24:39). This wasn’t last-minute nerves, though. Jesus had been walking toward the showdown at Calvary with all that it would require of Him in mind, in distress every day for months. Even so, He didn’t turn aside; He “set his face to go to Jerusalem” (Luke 9:35). And yet with this burden on Him, He was still fully present to all those He encountered along the way.

This “great distress” He endured speaks to the fullness of His humanity; what was ahead was weighing on Him constantly. In catching a glimpse of this, I appreciate more deeply the sacrifice.

 When we say that Jesus knows what we are going through, it’s not just words. It’s true. That’s why Hebrews 4:15-16 promises, ^“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”

Having a deeper understanding and recognition of Jesus’s full humanity increases my sense of security and awe in His love as fully God. As Psalm 139: 3 says, God is “acquainted with all my ways.” He doesn’t know about them; He has been here and experienced them.